10 days. No phone. No distractions. Just me and my thoughts. Think you could do it?
Silence terrifies most people. In a world that never stops talking, scrolling, and buzzing, I’m about to do something radical: I’m voluntarily going silent for 10 days.
My friends can’t believe it. ‘You? Silent? For a whole week and a half?’ Their disbelief is fair. I’m known for my quick wit and endless chatter. But this isn’t about proving a point but discovering something deeper.
I grapple with a whirlwind of emotions as I prepare for this Vipassana retreat in Pomona, QLD. What have I gotten myself into? Can I really do this? But the real challenge lies not just in the silence itself; it’s about confronting the urges that will inevitably arise when I’m stripped of my usual distractions—no phone, no computer, no books to escape into, and no music to drown out my thoughts. What will happen when I’m left alone with my uncomfortable feelings and no one to talk to? I can already feel the familiar pangs of anxiety creeping in. The prospect of facing my thoughts without the usual soothing distractions feels daunting.
This year has been a landscape of loss—a significant family death, business challenges. Suddenly, mortality feels closer than ever. What would my future self wish I’d done differently?
Allowing
Allowing myself the time
I ALLOWED myself to have this time. It is a significant time away from the world to do a mental and emotional detox. To connect with something more profound. But it is a gift I gave myself.
I have also allowed myself a week in Bali in February for an Ayurvedic retreat. To do a physical detox.
What do you need now that you can allow yourself to have?
Overcoming excuses was the first hurdle. Luckily the excuses were all in my head, as my partner was totally on board. He is an independent type and think he will enjoy his own version of a retreat without me there! Haha. So I had to convince myself that my peace of mind was worth it. I started by thinking about my clients and acknowledging that they would benefit from a clearer coach and psychologist, and then I included my family. One of my values is to be a good role model for my kids. I am showing them that inner work is important for peace and outer success. Or success your way at least.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is not just an exercise; it is a way of living. It is paying attention on purpose with curiosity and compassion. It is being open to the reality of the present moment, allowing all thoughts, emotions and sensations to enter awareness without resistance or avoidance.
Life can be super tough, and we have to sit with painful thoughts and feelings with kindness to ourselves. Rather than squash them down with blaming and complaining, scrolling, drugs, alcohol and Netflix.
Take small steps
You don’t have to go on a retreat to benefit from mindfulness. Just start by noticing your thoughts. Say, that is a thought. Or I notice, I am having a thought that….. (eg. my boss is an angry ant) or I notice I am having an angry thought and feeling.
Let go of the identity of your thoughts and see them for what they are, just thoughts.
A way out
When I told a friend I was a bit scared of sitting with my thoughts without sharing them for 10 days she said I could always leave. She then gave me examples of people she knew who did it as they found it hard or didn’t like the primary instructor.
She was trying to ease any anxiety, but it made me more resolute. They left because of a thought. They left as they listened to feelings of discomfort rather than what would be good in the long run for them. They listened to an excuse and went against the contract to stay there the whole time.
When things get uncomfortable, I will remember them and decide not to be that. To notice that it is only a thought, only an urge and I’m bigger than that. I am bigger than anything my mind can throw at me. I am a thinker of thoughts, I am not my thoughts. I feel sensations I am not sensations!
Has anyone done Vipassana?
Do you agree that you are bigger than your thoughts?
What advice would you give me as I start my journey next week?
Warmly,
Michelle
P.S. Due to my meditation retreat I will not be writing the newsletter until after Christmas. If you celebrate Christmas, I hope it is easeful and joyful for you and your family.
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