“The one thing you need to know about happy marriage: find the most generous explanation for each other’s behaviour and believe it.” — Marcus Buckingham

Want more success in every aspect of your life? Try this: look for the most generous explanation behind someone else’s actions—and believe it.

This isn’t just about relationships. It’s about how you treat yourself, too. If you want to feel more confident, make better choices, and have more peace, do the same for yourself. Don’t decide you can’t do something after one try (or even before you’ve tried!) and then beat yourself up. You’d be amazed how many people I work with fall into this trap.

What would it take to accept that you have tried your best? You always do. If you had a slip up, then the next decision is the important one. The past is done. Let it go and decide again who you want to be.

I have a wonderful friend name Jo who used to book my training for me. She calls me the ‘queen of reframe.’ She says I can flip any situation and find a more useful way to consider it. This is what psychology does. We construct our world anyway through our perception and ideas, so you might as well make your perspective a useful one. One that works for you.

A renowned scientist, Lisa Feldman Barrett, has done extensive research on emotions and agrees that emotions and thoughts are all constructions and predictions created in the brain.

The way you consider yourself and others is from your past, and your brain is just relaying your past on your future if you don’t watch out. This is why self-leadership is so important. If you aren’t careful, you make a cage for yourself that is just a reflection on your past.

This is where coaching comes in.

Remember the movie where that young lad was talking to Bruce Willis who was his Psychiatrist? He says to Bruce, “I see dead people”.

Well I’m a bit like that but I see the patterns that you don’t see in yourself. Why is that important? You stop getting in your own way and take the consistent action you know will move the dial.

Imagine not being at war with yourself, knowing which thought to listen to.

Imagine having a way to dissolve uncomfortable feelings.

Imagine understanding yourself and being Ok with your decisions.

Imagine being clear about your next steps.

Imagine finding a way to have energy every day rather than feeling drained.

Book a call. I’ve just opened up a day a fortnight for new clients. That means more chances than ever before to connect.

In the meantime, try looking for the most generous and useful explanation of behaviour or yourself and others.

Notice what changes in your relationships, your mood, and even how you talk to yourself. You might be surprised by how powerful this simple shift can be.

Warmly,

Michelle

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