The Vipassana 10-day silent retreat was the most transformational experience of my life. The most surprising part was when I stopped making myself wrong for not getting it, didn’t try so hard to get it right and just sat with the imperfection of not being able to do the meditation well.

If you don’t know about Vipassana retreats, we were without phones, talking, or eye contact for 10 days, and a gong went off at 4 a.m. to wake us up for the 4.30 a.m. meditation in the hall, signalling a day of hours of meditation.

With no distractions, all I had was wrestling with my mind. I tried to get it to focus on the present and watch the sensations going in and out of my nose (for 3.5 days) before we learnt the Vipassana meditations. Vipassana means seeing things as they are, to sit without judging or trying to change them. We spent most of our time focussing on the sensations on our skin. It gave me a big headache, but it gave me a sense of where I was going wrong in life.

I was an addict without know it

I realised from noticing my thoughts that I was harder on myself than I had realised, and I was more addicted to my phone and reading and listening than I thought. I had a digital detox, and my whole body was irritated with sitting and trying to focus for so long, but also because I didn’t have any external stimulation—no distractions from thoughts and feelings. But more than finding out I was hard on myself I realised how much I think I’m getting it wrong (and how much I compare myself to others).

Although I had many moments of peace, it wasn’t a fun retreat. It was a reshaping and cleansing of the cheap dopamine hits from learning and listening to music and a lesson in what was happening in my head.

Do you ever feel like your mind is like a cluttered junk drawer, and all you do is make yourself wrong? I must admit there was also a voice in my head that had thoughts of grandiosity and ego: ” You have extraordinary talents,” “You are so connected.” I had a meditation that was a bit of a spiritual experience, and I wanted to run and tell the teacher, “Look at me and how special I am.”

I saw my ego as clear as day. But I also witnessed the ease with which my meditation happened, and I got it when I accepted what was in front of me without trying to change it.

There are simpler ways to clear your mind and stop struggling with yourself, and this year, I am determined to help people like you find peace so that you can stop being triggered, be kinder to yourself, and connect more deeply to your innate wisdom and intuition.

It is time to declutter your mental space, find an inner ease and unlock your inner GPS!

3 things you can do right now.

1. Make yourself right—Every self-help technique seems to be about changing something, making yourself wrong. What if you are right just now, even if you are not? Pause and bring your attention to your breathing without changing it.You are fine the way you are, even if your breath is shallow and short. Change it if you feel like it. Deep breaths do turn off the stress response. Otherwise, be with yourself for a few moments. If you don’t jump into thoughts, your home needs to be connected.
2. As you sit in the chair, notice if you are perched on it like a lion about to pounce on a passing wildebeest.
   Notice if your feet are ready for action or if you are letting the floor support them. Notice first, and if it feels good, then let the chair support your body. This subtle thing can help turn your stress response off and give you a greater sense of ease.

3. Notice how you walk. Is it quick or slow? Are you time-travelling in your mind, or are you present in your home, your body?
   Self-aware leaders are associated with better business, and those with greater self-awareness are better equipped to manage stress and anxiety and make better health-related decisions.

Thriving happens on the other side of self-awareness.

Ways to work with me:

1. Put your name on my waitlist for the Flow Lane collective, where I introduce my robust personal and professional growth framework: women replenishing their health, relationships and leadership.
2. Trauma-informed organisations – help your team and leaders learn to lead their own wellbeing despite working with difficult and traumatised clients. Get your leaders on board with the recent changes in work health and safety regarding psychosocial risks.
3. Emotional intelligence works in all forms: Transforming leadership culture and communication through Emotional intelligence.
4. Replenish workshops for the public, including self-compassion, anti-fragility and emotional intelligence.

DM or use this link to book a time to discuss your needs.

Warmly,

Michelle

Useful Links

Buy my Transformational Leadership book

Do a Leadership Team Framework Diagnostic

Loved this email? Forward it!

Post it on LinkedIn or your company intranet. Forward it to your friends and colleagues.

Share the love!