Have you ever been on the receiving end of a microaggression? If so, you’ll likely relate to what happened to me three weeks ago—a moment that left me both shocked and resolute.
As I sit here drafting a formal complaint to this man’s organisation, my blood still boils. The metaphor couldn’t feel more apt: microaggressions may seem small, but their impact is anything but.
The man in question is an older gentleman, I was told later, a seasoned and successful exengineer. Yet, his response to me—a female leader—was laced with condescension and disdain. Unfortunately, his reaction isn’t surprising. The report “The Not-So-Little Things Affecting Women in Construction” revealed how microaggressions have a macro impact on women in male-dominated industries.
It happens everywhere—construction, healthcare, community services. Microaggressions take many forms: microinsults, microassaults, microinvalidations. They’re subtle, almost imperceptible at first, leaving you wondering if you’ve misunderstood or, worse, if you’ve done something wrong.
Let me set the scene:
I introduced myself and a fellow life member to a group of older men who were guests at our club event. As president of the club, I shared my role proudly.
Then it started.
One of the men smirked and said, “Ah, so you’re Trump, here to wield your power.”
Confused, I laughed it off, jokingly saying, “Careful, or I’ll fire you and have you kicked off the premises.” I wasn’t sure how else to respond in the moment.
But he wasn’t done. Later, he approached me again: “You’re Trump, aren’t you?”
This time, I couldn’t hide my irritation. My expression must have said it all because he quickly followed with, “I’m joking—can’t you take a joke?”
And then, I saw it for what it was.
He wasn’t joking. He was testing me, pushing boundaries, and chipping away at my authority under the guise of humour.
It didn’t stop there. He proceeded to give unsolicited advice about how I should run the club and dismissed my disagreement with a remark dripping in condescension—essentially, “What would you know?”
Throughout the event, he smirked as he passed me, as if he’d unmasked some imaginary flaw in my character.
Why am I sharing this?
Because this behavior is insidious. It’s not just a “joke.” It’s gaslighting. It’s meant to make you second-guess yourself, your decisions, and your worth.
This man undoubtedly carries an unconscious bias against women in leadership. And while I initially dismissed his behaviour, I couldn’t shake it. A few days later, I reported his conduct verbally to his organisation. Now, I’m putting it in writing.
Here’s the thing:
Some people disguise put-downs as jokes, and when you call them out, they blame you for not “getting” it.
Trust your gut.
I trusted mine, and it was clear: this wasn’t harmless banter—it was an attempt to undermine and belittle.
Women, claim your space. Trust your instincts. Recognise microaggressions for what they are: the tools of small-minded people trying to strip you of your power.
If this resonates, her is a link to the microaggression report The Not so Little Things Affecting Women in Construction – FINAL.pdf
Together, we can see these behaviours for what they are and call them out.
You’re not alone. Stay strong.
#womeninconstruction
#bully
#thewayofthetrailblazer
Warmly,
Michelle
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