Feel helpless and unseen sometimes despite being great at your job?
Last week, as groups were discussing a question I posed at the Women in Resources lunch, I walked around the room listening in to the responses.
The task was to choose one or two parts (I also call them modes) of yourself – as represented by the Transformational leadership and culture identity cards (TLCIC) that get in the way of their goals.
This process shifts the invisible to the seen so you to empower yourself with the source of the issue.
The parts of you that self-sabotage.
Meeting woes
A woman at one table said she presents her work in meetings (Lion mode or adult mode), feeling confident she can influence the team to consider her recommendations. In the meeting, some team members come up with reasons why it can’t work. Some others stay silent. The meeting moves on, leaving her feeling small and unseen.
She has shifted from Lion (adult mode) to Lamb (victim). Like most of us, when this happens, she starts to see herself and the world through that lens of not enough. Thinking she is not intelligent or effective enough. She starts to brood over the issue and thinks, why bother?
Then another shift happens. This young woman then moves into a hyena (rebellious teenager), and she becomes angry, blames her male teammates, blames the system and recruits others in her misery as she complains and gossips with her co-workers.
Recognise this?
You should, my human friend. The dynamic happens at some stage to all of us. We shift from part to part, not realising that each part has a different operating system inside us that stops us in our tracks and makes us ineffective.
Wayne Dwyer said to change what you see, and what you see changes.
Otherwise, change your focus and your lens, and then your world opens up. You see strengths in yourself and others that were invisible before.
What was missing in this young lady was awareness of these parts and the dynamic that happens each time.
1. Expect these parts to come up
2. Notice when she shifts from Lion mode
3. Name the parts
4. Shift back into Lion mode,
- a. get curious in the meeting,
- b. see herself as an equal player
- c. drop defences and the thoughts of it being personal
- d. ask some questions to recalibrate the common goal and others’ reasoning
- e. go for win/win
- f. Want the best outcome, and that doesn’t need to be your option
Expect, notice and name. Then, shift your attention to what is effective.
Working with your parts gives you this wisdom to see what was invisible to you before and gives you a way forward.
I’m Michelle,
I believe that everyone tries to do their best, but they get railroaded by stress, triggers, traumas and self-sabotage.
My mission is to help people better understand themselves and others so they can live on purpose rather than autopilot. Cooperation rather than conflict. I empower individuals and teams to lead fulfilling, intentional lives both personally and professionally.
Warmly,
Michelle
Useful Links
Buy my Transformational Leadership book
Do a Leadership Team Framework Diagnostic
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